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Thursday, February 7, 2008

The 5 Best Toddler Toys for Under Ten Bucks

This list contains the toys that have given us the biggest bang for the buck. They have been consistently played with and provided many hours of entertainment for my kids.


1. Happy Meal Toys – We are partial to McDonald’s but any fast food restaurant will do. I am not promoting Happy Meals as a nutritious meal, but on occasion, we do treat our kids to lunch or dinner at “HotDonald’s.” My kids are always thrilled with their new toys. They are just the right size for toddler hands and they are always different. We have Shrek, Teenage Mutant Turtles, Pirates of the Caribbean, Strawberry Shortcake, robots, cars, puppies, to name a few. These toys are always a big hit and you get a meal too!


2. Matchbox or Hot Wheel Cars – They go anywhere and kids just seem to love anything that has wheels. They are not just for boys either; my daughter loves to play cars as much as my son. Our couch, the windowsills, their play center rug and even my arms and legs have been transformed into roads or racetracks for the cars to drive on. There is an endless variety to choose from and they never “tire” of them.


3. Flashlights – I bought my kids Disney flashlights this past Christmas. They use them on many of their imaginative adventures. Whether they are pretending to camp in the family room or searching for clues to solve a mystery, they have hours of fun. Plus, they love to make shapes on the wall. The only thing that wears out is the batteries, not the kids.

4. Cookie Cutters – I purchased the Roshco 100 piece Cookie Cutter set from Pfaltzgraff so that we could make and cut out sugar cookies. They are made of plastic so they do not have any sharp edges. They range in size from 2 to 4 inch pieces and include holiday shapes, animal shapes, letters and numbers, and more. When we emptied the box to see what all we got, it was like Christmas. There were so many colors and shapes to choose from and we discovered that they weren’t just for cookies! Besides playing with the airplane and train pieces, we have used them to reinforce letters, numbers, shapes and colors. A really great, multi-functional bargain for both mom and kids.


5. Squeezy Soft Animals – This last item I am including on my list because my kids still play with the farm animals and dinosaurs almost every day and they have had them for over a year. The ones I purchased came from Toys to Grow on but when I checked out their website recently I couldn’t find them. I don’t know if they are discontinued but I am sure there are plenty of other similar toys. For under $10, they each got an assortment of 8 “squeezy soft” and very durable animals that came with their own storage boxes. The boxes themselves are great not only for storing but also for carrying. And they make great hats for toddler heads!


I don’t really understand why we spend a fortune on toys when most kids can find amusement and entertainment with just about anything. All it takes is a little imagination, a little freedom and some supervision and even the most ordinary objects can turn into toys. Like the expression says, sometimes the box is just as much fun as what’s inside.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Learning to Swim

My son has been taking swim lessons since he was a baby. He had one excellent class and several not-so-great classes. The best class he ever took was in Florida, a program called Swimming for Life. The instructor and class are associated with the US Swim School Association. Anyone who has young children and a pool should definitely try to find a program in their area. We no longer live in Florida so unfortunately my daughter missed out on that class. She has always gone to the YMCA for parent-child lessons. But at Swimming for Life, I watched as my son worked one-on-one with the instructor to learn how to save his own life if he ever fell in a pool. At 15 months, my son was able to float on his back without any assistance. It was a little scary watching him learn this, but the results were amazing. Without any floats, he could jump in the pool and pop back up on his back.


Since then, he also has attended swim classes at the YMCA. Unfortunately, there was a gap between the classes so that by the time he got back in the pool, he had nearly forgotten how to float. Until he turned 3, both he and my daughter were in the same class which was basically just introduction to the water. They played games, learned the basic concept of reach and pull, and practiced kicking. All of this with the assistance of the parent. The main goal is for the kids to become familiar with the water, not to learn how to swim or float. My daughter is quite familiar with the water and loves to “swim,” but she will have to repeat this course several more times since she will not turn 3 until September.


My son is taking his first independent class at the YMCA; parents get to sit back and watch. I had hoped he would get more out of this class but the instructors seem to have a hard time “letting go.” The kids have float devices on and can all keep their heads above water. There are two instructors for six students, plus a lifeguard on duty and numerous spectators. No one is going to drown so I just wish they would let them try to perform on their own. Instead of holding on to them, just let them swim!

At the last class, the instructor had them float on their backs for 15 seconds. As I previously mentioned, my son could do this without a float. Now he has a float on so he should have no trouble at all. But the instructor kept his hands under my son’s back the entire time. I just wanted to scream out, “Please just let him try. He can do it by himself!” But I am not the type of person to interfere so I just sat gritting my teeth and watching, thinking my son is learning nothing about swimming.

And then there’s my daughter. She could just as easily be in the class with her brother. She is mature enough at 29 months to do what he is doing. It is really not that much different from her own class except instead of having me support her, she would use a float. Her only problem would be the downtime. My son seems to sit on the edge of the pool for half of his 30 minute class. I don’t think my daughter has the patience to sit still and watch the other kids have a turn swimming. She would just jump right in!


I wish I could find a swim class nearby that offered the kind of instruction my son had at Swimming for Life. I want them to learn how to swim. And I think that with the right kind of instruction, they could both be good swimmers. They don’t need to be 4 or 5 before they are really taught how to swim. Besides, I want them to be able to swim at grandma and papa’s pool this summer!

Manic Monday

You can definitely tell when it is Monday at my house. If the kids aren't fussing or fighting about something, then they are just finding ways to cause trouble. So far today they have dumped out a jar of paper clips, emptied out a box of pencils TWICE, found a stash of erasers which my daughter wants to chew on, and pretended the staplers were trains. And the office in which these items are located is OFF LIMITS unless I am in there to supervise. All I have to do is run downstairs to throw in a load of laundry, which only takes about 2 to 3 minutes, and they are right back in there making a mess. So I find myself cleaning up the same thing over and over and over again. That is probably one of the reasons I feel like I never get anything done. I mean, it is already noon and I haven't even showered or gotten dressed yet (one of the few perks of being a stay-at-home mom)!
Then there are the tantrums, which seem to occur more frequently on Mondays. My kids have had a few minor skirmishes this morning when one won't share with the other. My daughter and I have bumped heads about getting dressed and changing her diapers. Even though it is winter, she wanted to run around naked. She took off her jamas and refused to put them back on. She thought it was funny when I had to chase her around the family room to put her clothes on. She has managed to keep them on but we could have done without the screaming and kicking. Then for no apparent reason she came running after me, screaming and crying when I was about to answer the phone. I dont know what that was about but it was quickly followed by another tantrum. This time, she apparently wanted the slice of bologna intended for her brother's sandwich (or so she thought). She was mad and let me know it. She deliberately knocked my cup of coffee off the counter and proceeded to bang her head on the kitchen floor. Can someone say naptime?
I don't know why Mondays are so rotten. Maybe it is because my husband has been here all weekend to keep them in line and lay down the law. So when they wake up on Monday and he isn't here, they think they can just run wild. Or maybe it is because we usually don't have anything planned. We still follow our breakfast, lunch, snack, naptime schedule but that is about it. The rest of the day is pretty much wide open. My son doesn't have school and my daughter doesn't have gymnastics. I don't usually run errands; I save them for when my son is at school. And they just spent all weekend playing with evey toy they own and do not seem paticularly interested in any of them on Mondays. Maybe they are just bored and boredom spells trouble at my house.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Career Change

I have been wrestling with the idea of a new career lately. I have been a stay-at-home mom for four years now, and while my children are only 2 and 3, I know that eventually I will have to go back to work. And I don’t know what I want to do. Before I had children, I was a technical writer. I have a Master’s degree in Professional Writing, which I pursued because at the time I was an English teacher. I spent four years prior to working as a writer teaching high school English. While teaching has its rewards, I could not imagine juggling that professional responsibility with a family. My children are my first priority which is making it difficult to choose a new career path. I like being home and I will need a job with a lot of flexibility. I need to be here when they leave for school in the morning and when they return in the afternoon. I need to be available to pick them up if they are sick, chaperone field trips, and take them to gymnastics or baseball. I don’t want a job where I have to bring work home from the office or do any travelling. I am the type of person who needs very little supervision and actually prefers it that way. I don’t want to be a secretary or a receptionist, a salesperson, an accountant, a computer programmer, a telemarketer, or an advertising rep, to name a few. I know what I don’t want to do. The trouble is, I don’t what I do want to do.
I would love to stay at home, work when I want and how I want. I have searched for work at home opportunities but I can’t tell the scams from the real deal. I wanted to start my own t-shirt business and had a good idea, but couldn’t make it work. I thought about eBay and while I am sure I have things to sell, I would rather donate them or give them away to friends. I considered becoming a bridal consultant, which would let me be creative and work my own hours. But it would also require me to work weekends and I don’t want to miss a moment of my kids growing up. Direct selling is not for me; I just don’t have the right personality. My ideal job would be making and selling crafts, everything from candles to picture frames to refurbished furniture. I could do it via the internet with plans to one day open a storefront. But that requires money and we don’t have it to throw it away on a dream. So, in reality, I know that I need to start planning for a new career.
Right now I am researching the paralegal profession. I have the right skills – writing, communicating, researching. I have a BA in Government & Politics and took a few legal courses way back. I would need to go back to school which I don’t mind at all. In fact, if I could get paid to be a student that would probably be the perfect job for me! But I need to start planning now so that I can be ready to embark on my new career in a few years when my kids are in school full time. I am confident that I could do the job but it lacks the creative edge that I enjoy and I am not sure how flexible the hours would be. Of course, if I could work on a contract or case by case basis that would be perfect. But I think I would need some experience before going out as a freelance paralegal. Freelance writing is another possibility but it isn’t a steady paycheck. And how do you compete for jobs with so many other writers when you have been a stay-at-home mom for so long?
I don’t have to make my choice tomorrow but it would be nice to have some direction. And it would also be nice to have a second income. My family and I could certainly use it. But unless I can get paid to work from home, I will just have to continue my job as MOM for the meantime.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Lies vs. Truth

My husband and I have very different philosophies about raising our children. This most recently became apparent when discussing the topic of lying. My son will lie to us about going potty in his diaper. Now my husband believes that is a straight up lie. I tend to think that it is the wishful thinking of a 3 year old. He wishes that he hadn’t pooped in his diaper because he knows that we will be disappointed in him. We want him to be a big boy and big boys use the potty. So he distorts the truth so we don’t think he is still a baby.
Maybe I am just reaching for an explanation. I certainly do not know what goes on in the mind of a 3 year old. But Joan Tolchin, MD, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry, does. In a article on Parents.com entitled “Why Kids Lie,” she says that toddlers are still trying to figure out the difference between reality and fantasy. So when a 3 year old lies, they don’t do it knowingly or willingly and they certainly do not have any malicious intent. It may simply be thei r expression of what the wish were true.
That being said, my husband disagrees. He thinks that when my son lies, he knows he is telling a lie. So when he tells us he didn’t potty in his diaper, he gets in trouble, not for having an accident, but for lying about it. I believe this is the wrong approach but mine is not much better. While my husband disciplines, I rationalize. I explain to my son that he shouldn’t lie and that lying is bad. Neither of these approaches is successful according to Dr. Saarni, a professor of counseling at Sonoma State University. She says that “a long lecture about the virtues of being honest would be way over your toddler’s head.” But it is also pointless to punish him for lying and may even cause him more harm in the long run.
So what are we as parents to do? We want our children to be honest and tell the truth. We want them to value honesty and we believe that we need to instill these values at an early age. But until they truly comprehend what truth is, they cannot learn the value of it. For now, I want my son to know that I trust him and encourage him to tell the truth. But I won’t expect him to understand the importance of honesty or demand it from him until he can separate fact from fiction.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

A Little Make-Believe

My kids love to play racecars. They don’t just play with matchbox cars, they are the cars. They line up behind the couch, wait until I say, “Ladies and gentleman,” before they get revved up. I introduce them using their aliases, Tanner “Doc” racecar and Taylor “Lightening McQueen” racecar. They drive out to the podium and say a few words, mostly mumbling something about being careful of the other racers. Then I tell them to start their engines. Ready, set, go and the racers are off. Round and round the family room they go in circles until one crashes and needs repairs or they run out of gas. They come in for new tires every few laps and the race continues until one or the other decides suddenly that it is over. I hand out their blue ribbons, they take a victory lap and they line up to do it all again. This could go on all night if we let it.
Besides playing racecars, they also love to be trains. This time the setting is the kitchen; the track starts at the island then wraps around the table. My son has many alter train egos; he is James or Percy, Gordon or Mavis. My daughter is almost always Thomas. Again, I usually have to introduce them and say “Go, Thomas,” and “Go, James,” before they take off on the tracks. With whistles blowing and engines chugging, they find their own adventures at every turn. Sometimes they head to the “docks” or the “station”; other times they deliver the mail or haul coal. Each time around the track brings new excitement as they let their imaginations soar.
Whether they are being racecars or trains, they enjoy the freedom of childhood and the thrill of imagination. It is wonderful to watch them develop their young minds. There is nothing more beautiful and innocent than the creativity of a child. It is so pure and refreshing. If only we could all take a few moments out of our busy days and remember what it is like to pretend. If only we could hold on to the magic of childhood forever!

Monday, January 28, 2008

Potty Training Advice

My mom is aware of the potty training problems I am having with my son and she recently sent me an article explaining a new, and somewhat radical, solution. The article, “Expect potty-training success, and it will come” written by John Rosemond, discusses a program designed for older children who are not yet potty trained and may be resisting the use of the potty. Mr. Rosemond refers to a common problem known as “stool refusal” and uses this as the basis for his advice. My son does not have this problem; he simply will not use the potty at all. But despite this variation, the article does offer a possible solution for my problem.
To begin, Mr. Roesmond recommends using the child’s doctor as the authority who is demanding the use of the potty. My son, who is 3 1/2, knows what a doctor is and does and he has seen his doctor dozens of time, but I doubt that he would recognize him as an “authority.” The only authority figures in his life are myself and my husband and he hasn’t listened to either of us yet when it comes to understanding the necessity of going to the bathroom. We can certainly try using the “doctor” to motivate him, but I am not sure how successful that will be.
The next step in this process is to force the child to remain in the bathroom by himself until he has a bowel movement. In our case, I would just like him to do something on the potty without having an audience. Our problem with this aspect of the process is that my son will not stay in the bathroom by himself. But Mr. Rosemond addresses this problem and explains that if the child refuses “to stay in the bathroom, [the parents] were to gate him in.” This is what got my attention. Maybe we should put a gate on the door so I can walk away and he won’t follow. While this goes against most philosophies I have read on potty training, it may be just the solution we need. I don’t want to force my son into potty training, but he needs to learn soon. He is getting too old to keep wearing diapers and the older he gets, the harder it is going to be to teach him. I will give him a few more weeks, maybe months, to come around on his own. But if he isn’t potty trained by the time he turns 4, then we may have to put this plan into action. Then I can stop wishing he would use the potty and tell him to just do it!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Potty Training Trouble

I hate changing diapers. I couldn’t wait until my son turned 3 because I was sure that he would be potty trained and out of diapers. When that day came and went, I hoped that he would be potty trained for the first day of preschool. Well, that day came and went also. He is now 4 months away from his 4th birthday and we are no closer to being potty trained than they day we welcomed him into this world. I keep waiting for that miracle moment when he is ready, when he comes to me and says, “Mommy, I need to use the potty.” But I don’t know how much longer I can wait.
I have read everything there is on potty training and spoken to his pediatrician who assures me that my son will learn in his own good time and that lots of boys are not potty trained at this age. Well, that may be true, but I don’t know of any! We have tried rewards including stickers, stamps, potty charts, play- time on the computer, m & m’s. Nothing has worked. I tried taking him to the potty every hour and making him sit, hoping he would do something. But he wouldn’t sit still unless I stayed with him and I could only sit on the bathroom floor for so long. We remind him constantly to tell us when he needs to go potty and he never does. And even when we ask him if he pooped or peed in his diaper, he usually tells us no. We tried having him wear underpants but what a mess! After a few days of that, we went back to diapers. I wonder if he even realizes what it feels like to go number 1 or number 2 or is he just so absorbed in being a 3 year old that he doesn’t have time to worry about it?
Well, I worry about it. I don’t want to push him too hard because I understand that might just make him resist even more. But I also don’t want to have the only child in school who still wears diapers (even though he is the only one right now). And did I mention that I hate changing diapers?
We have had a recent breakthrough of sorts. Instead of insisting that big boys wear diapers, he now states that big boys wear underpants. That doesn’t mean that he is ready to lose the diapers yet but maybe we are getting closer. He does take great pride in picking out a pair of big boy underpants each day which he wears, yes, over top of his diapers! To be continued…

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Beach Party

A beach party in the middle of winter? Yes, you heard me right. My son’s preschool had a beach party today. Even though it is only about 35 degrees here in West Virginia, the students all changed into their bathing suits and the classroom was transformed into a sand-filled adventure. Twenty 3 and 4 year olds and a few younger siblings piled into the room, eyes wide with fascination, ready to get jump in. They grabbed their shovels and buckets and began making everything from mere mountains and piles to perfect pies and castles. Some didn’t want to get sand on their hands or feet but they soon forgot about the gritty mess as they filled up their dump trucks and drove from one side of the beach to the other. It was a little bit of summertime magic; the only things missing were the sound of the waves crashing on shore, the smell of salt water in the air and the sun beating down on their backs.
And just as if it were a real day at the beach, they were tired and hungry after an hour in the sand. The smell of hot dogs on the grill settled them all down as they waited for lunch. Beach towels and blankets littered the floor of the adjoining classroom and everyone spread out for a wonderful picnic. The day would not have been complete without snow cones and cotton candy, which my children turned down in favor of playing with pirates and castles. But at the end of the day, everyone had a great time. Just like a day at the beach without the sunburn. What a great idea to chase away those wintertime blues!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Learning to Blog

So far my blogging experience has been frustrating to say the least. I sounded like an easy thing to do but it is a little more complicated than all the blogging gurus make it sound. Maybe I am just behind the learning curve and out of my element here but I am determined to figure this out. See, I am a writer; at least writing is what I last went to school to study. I don’t do much writing because I don’t have enough to say to write a novel, I don’t have enough expertise to write subject-matter articles, and I am not creative enough to write poetry or music. I write little snapshots of my life and that is about it. So starting a blog sounded like the perfect platform for me to say what I want, when I want and how I want. But I also want people to read it. That is where I have a lot to learn. What is RSS? What are metatags? How do you write HTML? These are just a few examples of the jargon I have encountered and I have no idea what it all means. Of course there are plenty of resources on the web to help me out but I have the tendency to over-research a topic and still not make much sense of it. It seems that whenever I stumble on a site filled with information it only leads me to more questions and when I click links to learn about something else, I forget what I started researching in the first place. So for now I have diverted my attention away from the technical aspect of creating a blog to just writing some content and get my ideas out there. I will return to the other blog stuff later and stop wasting time developing and designing the blog and just get down to writing.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Being a Perfect Parent

I am a parent. Probably not a very good one. So instead of offering advice and sharing good parenting tips and tricks, I will more than likely share my questions about raising children. Maybe some of you have the same questions and concerns, the same doubts and insecurities. I would like to think that I am not the only one who sometimes feels like I don’t know what I am doing. The only model we have for how to be a parent is our own parents. And I am sure that I have intrinsically acquired some of their values and lessons, but I still don’t feel that I have the adequate skills I need to be the “perfect” parent. Don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming my parents for not teaching me. It just wasn’t relevant at the time and I guess I didn’t pay much attention to the how they raised me. Not that it would have mattered much anyway because I would still be the same person and the same kind of mom that I am. I am not a disciplinarian, I am not strict, I am not consistent. I don’t know how to be those things even though I know my kids would be better off in the long run. It is just isn’t in my nature. I let my kids get away with too much because I want them not only to love me but to like me too. At least I know that I have succeeded in that respect. My kids do love me and I am grateful for that. But have I really taught them about consequences, disappointment, right and wrong? Have I instilled in them respect for me and for others? Have I taught them manners and patience? Have I taught them anything positive? Only time will tell. I will continue to nurture them and care for them and try to meet their needs as best as I can. I didn’t turn out too bad so hopefully they won’t either.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Where the Wild Things Are

Hi and welcome to my blog. Since this is my first real post, I thought I would begin by telling you why I chose the title Where the Wild Things Are. If you continue to read my future posts, I am sure it will become quite evident, but for now it seems like the right place to begin my journey into the world of blogging.

Most of you, I believe, are familiar with Maurice Sendak’s children’s book Where the Wild Things Are. As a child, this was one of my favorite books (my other favorite being Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown). I can still remember my mom reading this book to me night after night before I went to bed. I heard the story so many times that I can still recite it word for word even now that I am an adult. My mom (thankfully) saved my childhood copy of the book and passed it on to me when I became a mother. That same story quickly became a favorite of my son who is now 3 ½ years old. The pages are tattered and torn but the story remains the same and so do the memories. The book has been loved, hugged, cried on, slept with, thrown, and stepped on. It almost has a life of its own and has been treated in the same way that life often treats most of us. But in the end, it is a priceless memory from my past and I hope that my children will come to have the same connection and same love for the story that I do.

We now have a brand new copy of the book along with our very own Max doll. This one has been tucked away in a safe place so that it will not be destroyed before my children are old enough to really appreciate the value of books. Which brings me to my second reason for choosing this title for my blog. It is not all about my love for the book but also because of my “wild” life. I have two kids ages 2 and 3 ½. They are 16 months apart in age and right now, life is pretty crazy with them. They definitely have their “Max” moments and they have the same vivid imaginations. They are at such a terrific age but with that comes a lot of chaos. Since life with my kids will more than likely become the subject of most of my blogs, I wanted a title that truly reflected what that is like.

Friday, January 11, 2008

To Be or Not To Be...Polite

Someone once wrote, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the power to turn a life around.” So I wonder, why have we forgotten how to act politely towards each other? It is really such a simple thing to do and it really does make people feel good. I did something nice for a complete stranger today. It didn’t take any extra time out of my day, it didn’t cost me any money, and it didn’t take any special effort. It was a simple gesture of good will and yet it made me feel like I made a difference in her life. All I did was catch her in the parking lot of Wal-Mart after noticing that she left her checkbook behind at the register. No big deal. I just did what I thought was the right thing to do, what I would want someone to do had it been me who left my checkbook in a public place. It wasn't so much the fact that I told her about her checkbook that gave me a feeling of pleasure but that she appreciated it, that she was grateful, that she said thank you. It was reassuring to know that kindness can be met with kindness. That is what makes you want to be polite to others. I try to be polite - I say excuse me in the grocery aisles, I say hello and thank you to salespeople, I apologize when my kids are too loud or too bossy, I wave to those drivers who let me cut in in a line of traffic. Nothing grand, nothing that would win me a politeness award. Just small acts that show I care. But what I want in return are the same small kindnesses. Not looks of annoyance or disgust. Look me in the eye, smile, acknowledge that I exist, do something other than ignore me. Wouldn’t we all be a little happier if we performed a few more random acts of kindness throughout the day? I know I would.

And I also know that I would like my children to grow up to be polite and kind and respectful. My husband and I expect them to say "please" and "thank you." It made me extremely proud when my son's preschool teacher complimented his politeness. I know now that he does it without being prompted by us or reminded of his manners. He just does it because it is the right thing to do, the right way to behave. I also believe that my kids should address all adults they meet with "Yes, sir" or "Yes, ma'am" (even if it does sound like they are saying Yes, man!) That, to me, is a form of respect and demonstrates kindness on a very basic level. Simply put, it is polite. I believe there is great power in these small words and acts, the kind of power that can brighten even the darkest day.